Rediscover your true nature

Deep inner work to transform your relationship with yourself, your struggles, and your life

Work With Me

If beating up on ourselves worked,
we’d probably all be doing great by now

Beneath all the self doubt, self judgement and anxiety, there is a version of you which is calm. Curious. Clear. Connected.

Let’s find her.

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Offerings

Feel more alive in your body and mind

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Individuals

  • Healing happens in relationship. This includes the relationship to our selves and to our problems.

    All of your strategies and coping skills that are messing up your life now? At one time they made sense and helped you in various ways. Until we know how to see them for what they are, and how to change our relationship to them, they often run our lives.

    Together, we look with compassion and curiosity at the life experiences that brought you to this point. We untangle knots of confusion about what’s going on and why these patterns keep showing up. We learn what to do with all those dang emotions (hint: it’s not about keeping on pushing them down until they explode).

    Along the way, we practice the art of befriending yourself.

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Teaching

  • I love bringing people together to explore the inner landscape, whether through retreats, experiential workshops, or online courses.

    Workshops & Retreats

    I teach and facilitate experiential learning for groups, including leadership retreats for college students. My work draws on mindfulness, IFS/parts work, embodiment, nature connection, and practices for cultivating self-awareness and inner wisdom.

    Online Courses

    I also create and teach online courses for those who want to explore these ideas and practices more deeply, wherever they happen to be. New offerings are in development.

    Interested in bringing a workshop to your community or organization? I'd love to hear from you.

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Psychedelic Support

  • Psychedelic medicines, approached with intention and care, can open doors to parts of ourselves that are difficult to access in ordinary states of consciousness. They may offer new perspectives on long-held patterns, deepen our capacity for connection, and catalyze meaningful change.

    I've worked professionally with expanded states of consciousness since 2015, and I remain in awe of their potential for insight, healing, and transformation.

    Preparation & Integration

    Whether your journey takes place independently or with another facilitator, I offer support in clarifying intentions, preparing emotionally and practically, and integrating what emerges into everyday life.

    Guided Ceremonial Work

    For those seeking a facilitated experience, I also offer in-person ceremonial support in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Ways In

A few of the modalities that may get woven into a session with me

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    Parts Work (IFS)

    Parts Work, also called Internal Family Systems, is a therapeutic tool that encourages us think of certain emotions, thoughts or behaviors as personified “parts” in our psyche. This allows us to separate from them just enough that we can see them more clearly, but this time with a sense of curiosity instead of self-judgement.

    As we learn to work with our parts from this vantage point, a new version of you naturally begins to emerge. Your psyche reorganizes itself to allow for more inner peace, self-compassion and clarity about your true self.

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    Connecting to Nature

    Using the metaphor of “inner seasons” we re-establish a framework of intimate connection and attachment to the natural world. Just like a parent and child, we start to see our resemblance to this planet that made us. We are made in her image, with seasons and cycles inside of us that mirror the wider ones all around us. We belong here.

    We use this to orient ourselves like a map. With practice, this slowly helps us stop fighting against the natural ebbs and flows of our lives and learn what each “inner season” actually asks of us.

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    Embodiment

    By getting in touch with what trauma therapist Peter Levine calls “the felt sense” of our bodies, we begin to heal trauma and enjoy life more.

    In a session we may employ exercises like simply putting your attention on body to see what sensations - if any - you notice there. Or maybe a little gently touching your scalp with your fingertips while taking deep breath. Such practices often seem simple, but their effect can be profound and help us get back to the root of what life is all about.

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    Mindfulness & Imagination

    I think of mindfulness as the art of being present to what’s actually happening. It’s tuning into the subtle realms of our direct experience.

    Visualization, including the use of Active Imagination is an approach that helps bridge the conscious and unconscious mind.

    Together these tools help build a relationship with your own inner guidance system and create an inner world that is a refuge, where deep safety can be found.

Where we might begin:

  • That relentless inner critic and the exhausting business of trying to be good enough

  • Having the same argument with yourself for the 437th time

  • What to do with all those dang emotions

  • Feeling numb, disconnected, or like you've lost your spark

  • Wanting deeper connection, but finding relationships surprisingly complicated

  • That vague sense of dissatisfaction with life

  • Feeling more at ease in your body

  • Finding your own inner wisdom and learning to trust it

  • Inner child work and healing old childhood wounds

  • Creative blocks and the desire to feel more alive

  • The lingering effects of trauma or harmful relationships

  • Recovery from high-control groups, cults, and abusive dynamics

  • Navigating spiritual awakenings, existential questions, or psychedelic experiences

Olivia Wilder, therapist and founder of The Essential Self, offering depth-oriented healing, IFS parts work, and psychedelic integration

Hi, I’m Olivia Wilder. And I’m really glad you’re here.

Think of me as a wilderness guide for the psyche.

I have a Master's in Counseling Psychology along with extensive training in experiential, somatic, and attachment-based approaches to healing.

But my deepest education has come from nearly two decades of devotion to the art of healing, born from the necessity of finding my own way through some very dark places.

I know this territory from the inside out. That journey has given me a deep compassion for the challenges and messiness of being human, an ability to sit with what is difficult without turning away, and a trust in the wisdom that lives within each of us.

I bring all of this into our work, creating a space where you can feel deeply seen, where nothing needs to be hidden, and where your own inner wisdom can lead the way.

Learn more about me and how I approach this work →

Choose the rhythm that works for you

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    Ongoing Depth Work

    Ongoing weekly sessions allow for steady, in-depth work over time. With this rhythm we meet for as long as it feels helpful to you, going deeper as trust and knowledge builds between us. This approach supports long-term transformation and is especially helpful when you're navigating complex patterns, ongoing life changes, or when in need of a steady container for self-inquiry and growth.

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    Focused Support Series

    If you are drawn to a more defined and time-limited approach, the Focused Support Series offers a defined number of sessions,  typically 3-9, decided upon up front. These are ideal when you’d like to focus on a specific theme or area of growth. We will work with depth and intensity over several weeks then pause to allow space for integration and reflection on your own. 

Book Now

Getting Started:

First, let's talk. We begin with a free 20-minute phone call. It's a relaxed, no-pressure opportunity to tell me a little about what brings you here, ask questions, and get a feel for whether working together might be a good fit.

Then, we begin. If it feels right to both of us, we'll schedule your first session. Sessions are collaborative and tailored to what you're bringing, with room to follow what emerges.

The practical details. Sessions are $165 for 60 minutes. I also offer extended sessions of 75–120 minutes, prorated at the same hourly rate, when you'd like more spacious time to go deeper.

We can meet in person in Los Gatos, California, or online via Zoom. A limited number of sliding-scale spots are available for those who need financial flexibility.

Schedule a Free Intro Call

Testimonals

  • Gets to What's Really Important

    “I felt a deep connection to Olivia very quickly. I feel incredibly seen when working with her. I feel like there’s a wise woman holding me in a warm, connected, safe container. She has great attention to detail and helps me to slow things down so we can get to what’s really important and clear away the B.S. She’s a powerful guide who helps create an energetic container for big healing work to get done.”

    Nicole Garrison

  • All My Relationships Have Improved

    “Since working with Olivia, I am way less afraid of my own feelings. She seems to ask just the right questions. My relationships feel stronger and deeper and more satisfying as a direct result of the work we’ve been doing. There’s been a ripple effect in my life, and it’s inspiring other people around me to want to work on themselves too, because they can see all the positive effects it’s been having on me and how much happier I’ve been.”

    Monica R.

  • Major Shifts in Foundational Patterns

    “Olivia helped me shift some very deep, foundational pieces in my healing. The way she weaves somatic awareness, pattern recognition, and parts work led to many meaningful “a-ha” moments— leading to clarity and empowerment. It was easy to settle into our sessions from the very beginning, and the intensive format—meeting consistently over a few weeks—allowed my system to truly relax into her steady support.

    Our work together has influenced the way I can show up for myself, my boyfriend, and my family.

    Brianna Grace

  • Different Than Any Other Therapy

    “Olivia has been instrumental in my healing journey over the past year. Despite seeing many therapists, none have provided the tools, clarity, and insight that she has. Her ability to listen, understand, and provide insightful guidance is truly remarkable. She makes me feel heard, seen, and validated. I am immensely grateful for her wisdom and guidance.”

    Kailey W.

  • Found My Inner Power Again in Just One Session

    “I came to my first session super anxious about having to set a boundary at work. Within that one hour, Olivia helped me understand what was underneath that anxiety as well as visualize an archetype that helped me find my inner power again. The next day I went into work calm and confident and said exactly what I needed! Without guilt or apology. It felt like a major shift in what was possible for me and has continued to open up new doors.”

    R.K.

  • Restored Balance to my Nervous System

    “In just one session, Olivia helped me frame and then cope with a period of overwhelm which had really impacted my nervous system.

    “Her kind and calm way of being allowed me to settle, and immediately created a sense of trust and safety. The session helped me restore a sense of balance to my nervous system and I also discovered a new insight into why I was being overwhelmed in the first place.”

    Mike Kelly
    Founder, The Heart of Living

  • What I've Always Needed

    “Olivia has guided me in the awakenings and realizations I’ve hungered for my whole life. The person I am now is unimaginable to the person I was before working with her. Olivia has patiently and precisely guided me in every session in my journey of unearthing myself. Her awareness is fine tuned in seeing the subtleties of my answers and body language. Her ability to create personalized meditations brought me deeper into learning about myself. There is my life before and after I worked with Olivia.”

    Lauren Bangerter

  • Everything I Had Been Searching For

    I noticed right away in our first session that Olivia was completely present, professional, authentic and candid, and that’s everything I had been searching for. I’ve done a lot of inner work and it’s surprisingly hard to find anyone in the various practitioner spaces I’ve come across that expresses all of those qualities.

    Emma

Let’s connect

Curious about working together? I'd love to hear from you.

We can start with a free 20-minute phone call to talk a little about what brings you here, answer your questions, and see if working together feels like a good fit.

Find a Time to Connect

Prefer to write instead? Email me at olivia@theessentialself.org or use the form below.